A Warning About Virtual Sex

Virtual sex is fantasy and sometimes fantasy is preferable to the responsibility and high maintenance of having a true relationship. Many women have virtual sex with a man online and then realize that the man is so happy with that that he is willing to put off a real meeting forever. Men have virtual sex with women who seem like goddesses onscreen, but in person remind them of a withered hag.

My point is that cyber sex is all about illusions. If you want potential rather than illusion, then don't agree to have virtual sex.

Once you have crossed that boundary keep in mind that there will always be that expectation that virtual sessions should culminate in a sexual session. This might be a drag for both of you especially if one of you is feeling in a less than imaginative mood.

Virtual Sex is Role Playing

If you are planning to become a spouse then virtual sex is probably not for you. Many men have a version of the ideal woman they could take home to mom -- and another fantasy woman they'd like to ravage in bed. Psychologists call this the virgin/whore dichotomy.

Which role do you want to play? Get clear about this because each game has a different set of rules. Ironically, the game plan for success in one area can be a disaster in the other. To make matters more complicated; men want you to play one role perfectly at night (in private) and another (publicly) by the light of day.

Unfortunately virtual sex means that your partner likes to wear masks. If sex becomes a matter of virtual role play then you might want to ask what other masks the partner wears to conceal what is really behind all of that erotic chat.