The Second Meeting and Beyond

Planning a Second Meeting

If all has gone well and the two of you have decided to meet again then it is pretty safe to assume that both of you wish for the relationship to move forward. By the way, there is a slight irony about all of this:

If he asks to see you again in person, it might be because he decided to do so within the first five minutes of meeting you. It may not have anything to do with what you did after that or how you talked to him on the phone. Studies show that most people make the decision to go forward with a second meeting or date within that first five minutes of meeting a person. That is why making a good first impression is so important!

You can look at the second date as a second chance to make a good impression or you can look at it as the chance to make a not so good impression. After all he or she should be entitled to see the parts of you that are a little more flawed now that the initial tension of meeting each other has been dispensed with.

The great thing about a second meeting is that both of you can relax a little and be more casual. You can plan to see a movie, go out to dinner or even spend a quiet evening at one or the other's place depending on who has traveled to see whom.

Even though the invitation to see each other a second time is somewhat comforting, some online relationships might still be freezing up conversationally. This is why it is important to make this date as fun as possible if you can. Good ideas for second dates include a trip to an amusement park, an old fashioned picnic or a trip to a comedy club. Comedy clubs are great because the jokes and comic material give you both something to talk about later.

It is also a good idea to talk to each other before this date happens and see what mutual interests are really there. Is there an activity that both of you equally loves and would like to share with each other. The reason you want to make the second meeting into a bit of a project is so that you can see how your potential mate interacts with other people. It also gives the two of you a bit of a distraction and helps eliminate any remaining awkwardness from your personal exchanges.

It is a very bad idea for the man to surprise the woman with some kind of "extreme" date. This is because a woman is really ticked off if she puts on her best cocktail dress and then finds herself being asked to participate in some rock climbing with you. Make sure that when you plan the date that you keep the lines of communication clear. If you are planning to surprise her and it involves wearing special gear, then make sure you tell her. Otherwise she will think that you were trying to embarrass or humiliate her on purpose.

Both of you will more than likely be more relaxed at this stage. There will be less interrogation and more flirting. Be sure to show off your charm and flirting skills. Remember that long distance relationships are usually running on a limited schedule and you will only have so many minutes and hours to impress him or her with your wit and charm. Flirting is friendly and it makes your partner feel wanted and sexy.

Many people make the second date mistake of trying to prove how attractive they are by flirting with other people. This does not cause your date to become attracted to you. It only causes resentment and the other person to wonder to what extent you flirt with other people when miles and miles of distance separate you.

If you are going to disagree about something it usually comes out on the second meeting. Sometimes this is caused by anxiety about where the whole thing is going or whether or not sex should take place sooner or later. If you do have a disagreement, try to be patient and realize that long distance relationships test even the most steady of nerves.

It is also very likely that your partner might try to make a loving move towards you during the second meeting. If you are not prepared to accept gestures of physical affection from this individual then don't go out on the date at all. Your reluctance to accept physical affection when the two of you are separated for weeks or even months at time will be very hurtful to the other person.

If your partner pulls away at your touch, it should be a sign to you that they are not sexually interested and for some reason (probably out of politeness), have agreed to a second date with you even though they are NOT interested. There are many reasons why your online friend may have done this. He or she could be immature, have sexual problems or even be a sadist. If this happens, briefly express your disappointment, politely say good-bye and go home. Don't even bother trying to get to the bottom of it. It will just be a waste of time.

Some relationships experts recommend waiting until six meetings have passed before two people sleep together. Of course, many individuals do have sex on the first and second meetings. Just remember that if you do intend to have sex, you should prepare yourself for the emotional consequences of becoming even more attached to someone who is so far away.