How To Deal With the Long Distance Blues

Loneliness

Loneliness is a feeling of emptiness or hollowness inside you. There are different kinds of loneliness and different degrees of loneliness. You might experience loneliness, as a vague feeling that something is not right, a kind of minor emptiness. Or you might feel loneliness as a very intense deprivation and deep pain as a result of not being able to see your partner.

I don't mean to be brutal but if you can't handle loneliness you are not going to be able to emotionally cope with a long distance relationship.

Loneliness Is Different Than Being Alone

It needs to be emphasized here that loneliness is not the same as being alone. A person will always have time when they chose to be alone. Rather, loneliness is the feeling of being alone and feeling sad about it.

Loneliness is a passive state. Strangely, there are times when we might even embrace the feeling. Yet, embracing loneliness and sinking down into the feelings associated with it usually leads to a sense of depression and helplessness, which, in turn, leads to an unhealthy codependence on your long distance relationship.

To stop feeling lonely, you might consider writing letters to your partner or keeping a diary for him or her to read when you return to each other. This is a healthy safe way to acknowledge your loneliness problem. Expressing your feelings might lead you to discover that you feel a number of things which might be connected to your feelings that you didn't even know that you had about your partner, including resentment, anger and frustration. You might be able to begin to see where these feelings are coming from and how they relate to your long distance relationship. As you begin to see the connections you will be more able to begin to make changes.

The best cure for loneliness is to get up and get out of the house. Stop being passive and become more active. If you’re missing someone, you can stop acting helpless and write, e-mail or visit them. Talking to an understanding friend can often help change your moods as well. If you don’t have an understanding friend, talking with a pastor, teacher or counselor might be a place to start.

Getting involved in some sort of regular activity or club can accomplish several things. It can take your mind off of feeling lonely as you get involved in the enjoyable activity. It can actually change a lonely mood into a happy one.

That way you’re more likely to find yourself enjoying what you’re doing and being with people who genuinely enjoy the same things. When your long distance partner hears how excited and happy you are with your life, he or she is more likely to see you as a vibrant and sought after companion who is worthy of pursuing more ardently!