Long Distance Relationships for Guys

How to Talk to A Woman

If you had to describe the difference between how men and women express their feelings, in terms of a water metaphor: women would be like ponds that never seem to fill and men are like blocked up pipes with only a small drip leaking from their heart to their mouth.

If you are a man and you want to succeed at communicating with a woman you are going to have to recognize that they need conscious verbal and emotional expression of your passion for her. You need to stop operating on auto-pilot and at least try to develop some awareness of her feelings as well as your own.

If you are a man and you feel that you are sometimes lacking in the communication or personal expression department, either because of the way you were raised or because you just can't seem to please her, then this is your cue to practice the fine art of listening. If you are in a chat with her, then don't type - let her type.
The best way to give your lady the impression that you love her is to ask her questions and let her ask about you. This makes her feel that she is the focus of your life. Listening and being inquisitive is the best way for a man who is not a poet or the cyber Don Juan of the century to make an impression on a long distance love.

Another common mistake that men make when they are trying to communicate with women online is to try and "fix" their feelings. Women don't actually want this. Whereas you might see the expression of feelings as a problem, women see it as a way of "sharing." If you push what she is "sharing" with you away, (especially with sarcasm or by being flippant) or try and fix the problem with her, you are basically telling her that you don't want to share with her.

Another clue is to flirt with her, but not be too overtly sexual (unless of course you have known each other a long time and are married or are already a couple.) Send her a box of chocolates, or even a pair of sexy panties, but leave the porn star talk to the boys in the locker room.

Many men have also been badly affected by the "nice guys finish last" syndrome. Not so on the Internet. The idea that women only like "bastards" went out with last century. Usually if a women is looking for love on the Internet, she is looking for a nice guy or a soul mate, not the run-of-the-mill player she can meet in any bar or night club.

Even if you have nothing to say, be attentive. Say hello to her in the morning, the middle of the day and at night. Ask her how her day was. Tell her how much you miss her or what you saw that day that reminded you of her or one of your conversations. Joke with her, flirt with her and use the word "we" a lot instead of "I". This is one sure way to ensure that the two of you have a smooth relationship that from her point of view is filled with the "sharing of feelings."

Unfortunately when men do feel, it is out of hurt and fear. As they have not been raised to weep openly this is usually transferred to emotions such as rage and defensiveness. Never express this to a woman you are interested with. Be honest but firm and tell her you are sharing, but that you have to go because you are not used to feeling so intensely for someone and that you will talk to her later when you have sorted yourself out. However, don't wait too long. The idea that she has awakened the slumbering beast of passion inside will make her feel very powerful. And power, as they say, is an aphrodisiac.